No Dark Sarcasm in the Classroom - Short Story

No Dark Sarcasm in the Classroom

“Please, Please, let me just survive the day.”  She clutches her shaking palms, trying to prevent her uneasiness from being so visible. The pit of her stomach turns with worry, as her lungs begin to tighten. Beads of sweat are quickly wiped away from the edge of her brow, while the throbbing of a swollen vein hammers into her head.

“Breathe, Maxine. Breathe.” she commands herself over and over again. Taking long breaths seem to counteract the build of anxiety. Stepping forward, she knows that the moment has come.

Placing her thick rimmed glasses on her sallow skin, she turns around to look at her reflection. The final judgment, if you will. Tilting her head to the left, she pouts her lips. It’s an attempt to mimic the hipster- hottie look so vehemently denounced yet widely emulated. Not amused, the mirror responds with a blunt criticism. You are a loser. A plain, pathetic, friendless loser.

Sighing, she grabs her backpack and locks the dingy door of the squalid apartment her family lives in. So begins the journey to a far away building where one goes to be scarred for life.

She may as well be walking toward the gallows. At least, her misery would end swiftly.

No such luck. It was the first day of school. None shall escape from its punishment.

“High school is hell. It manages to hike up the temperature of its flames with every passing year.” she thought woefully to herself.

*********************

The first day. Crucial to making the first impression of the year. Strewn across the bed were various articles of the seasons hippest clothing. Yet, the perfect ensemble continued to elude her.

She had picked her clothes the night before after much deliberation. Yet, this morning she had been obliged to revise her decision. She was forced to change at least a dozen times. Each outfit had problems.

Too fat. Too skinny. Too revealing. Not revealing enough. Sigh. It won’t be good enough. For them.

Frustrated with her naturally curly hair, she rummages through her vanity set for her flat iron. Sleek, straight hair is en vogue. They won’t be kind to her if she’s not on fashion point. Time is of the essence, so she quickly coordinates her makeup color palate. According the dozens of beauty articles she’s diligently read over the previous weeks, corals are in.

With her lipstick in midair she briefly questions herself. Why is she putting so much effort in this? It’s just another day right?

In the one last check in the mirror, she ignores the beautiful reflection before her. A small blemish at the right side of her jaw confirms her unfounded feelings of homeliness. A loud honk outside her window distracts her temporarily.

She pokes her head out, looking upon the vast courtyard of her family’s beach house. A convertible car filled with yapping, trendy girls of her age motion her to join them. Groaning, she can feel the nervousness creeping in steadily. Hoping that she will get the groups approval, she gives the widest smile as possible.

“So what do you think?” she asks, trying to look unaffected but, her earnest eyes betray her desire for acceptance.

 “Seriously, Kaylee that is what you’re wearing?” says a haughty high-pitched voice. The scoffs betray what she already knew. She failed in her choices. Again.

Keeping her composure, she bites her tongue in anticipation of the cutting remarks the group is going to lay into her the entire way to school.

‘It hasn’t changed. Why did I expect this year to be different?’

Beauty is painful. And ruthless.

***************************************************

To the untrained eye, or the blissfully unaware parent, the front entrance to the school seems a harmless place. 

Just before entering, the girl with the thick rimmed glasses adopts a look of disinterest in the hope that it hides the seeping feeling of desperation.

Desperate to belong. To something. Anything. I will tend to the wounds inflicted later.

She eyes a group of chatty girls, who are dressed in latest trends, laughing among themselves as if no one else could possibly exist.

I wish I had that. Beauty. Money. Friends. Popularity.  Friends.

If only high school could be as cute as it is in all those movies. Where even the bullying is lighthearted and tolerable because the geeky heroine will turn into the beautiful swan in the end. And then there will be trendy music playing in the background as she rides into the sunset with the handsome boy that magically falls for her.

As she makes her way to class, she steals a glance at a beautiful straight-haired girl who must have it all. With her eyes downcast she curses herself at her inferior life.

“Enjoy the loneliness, Maxine”, she tells herself in resignation. “There’s no way you’ll amount to anything.”

*******

Kaylee’s teeth began to hurt from the fake smiling she had done while her so-called friends mercilessly teased her. Her teeth were too big, her stomach too flabby and her cheeks too wide. They went on and on.  

It’s all in good fun, she repeated over and over in her head.

Yet inside, she felt ugly and unlovable, like the wretched trolls of fairy tales she loved reading as a kid. Some comments became so cruel that she quickly looked away, hoping to focus her attention on something else for fear she’d burst into tears.

A skinny, hunched figure with coke-bottle glasses stood in the middle of the hallway. Ignored by the other students who walked past her as if she were transparent, she seemed unafraid of their rudeness.

Rather, the figure simply stood, staring back with eyes that looked straight through Kaylee. Her thick rimmed glasses added an air of intellectual indifference to her being.

She seemed solitary, a lone wolf. Unapologetic . Unafraid.  

‘I am such a coward’ thought Kaylee. ‘I wish I was more like her.’

The bell rang, so Kaylee made her way to first period, biting her lip as she cried softly.